#AtoZChallenge Q is for 'Quiet'

When you decide to have a baby you decide to give up the 'quiet' in your lives. 

Until the baby comes out it all about you. Your quiet life. Your quiet needs. Your quiet things. Your cozy 'peace and quiet'.

And then out pops the baby. Announcing its arrival with the much anticipated first cry. Loud and clear. Making the first rip in your 'quiet'. 

Source Pinterest

To start with, the house is filled with crying and cooing from the new member and very patient lullabies and soothing from us.

A few months later, there's more crying and some cute baby sounds from them. We memorize rhymes and make animated silly talk.


Soon, there's whizzing of toys, adorable playful noises and the occasional thud and thumping of things being pulled and hitting the ground. Crying may evolve to tantrums.  And subtle 'Nos' and Don'ts make an entry. 

Ever cursed the mom with the screaming child in an airplane. Karma's going to get you. On the next flight, that baby is yours!

For the next many years the general decibel levels at home go up, up and up. Babies become real people. They learn how to talk, demand, argue and question. Louder Toys and more TV. Louder Nos and louder Don'ts. 

But there is also louder laughing, louder hugging, louder singing and louder loving. This is the noise of joy.

Suddenly you are glad you gave up quiet for this noise. 

#AtoZChallenge- P is for 'Photo-op'

What better photo-opportunity than a baby. 

Starting with your 'positive' pregnancy test kit, a time lapse of your growing bump, the magnum opus itself and every milestone there after- you want to capture everything.

And all you need is a phone camera and a 'moment'.

Well... actually you also need extra hard drives to store those million photos you are taking and extra Internet bandwidth because you are going to be Instagram-ing and Facebook-ing and Flickr-ing it around.

But that can't be enough... can it?

How can anyone resist the 'new baby' photo-shoot? With the cutest outfits and props, a skilled photographer can turn you and your baby into a dream. 

http://www.beautifulphotoprops.com/

Headbands, and furs, wraps and wings, soft nests and baskets. The choices are many and oh-so-cute.

The first time I was exposed to such fabulous baby photos with props and costumes were on those 'Archies' greeting cards almost two decades ago. I think the pictures were by Anne Geddes. And as I sat there mesmerized at the creativity that went into the shot, I wondered how a baby could be dressed up as a flower and still sleep so soundly!!

#AtoZChallenge - O is for 'Onesie'

I would like to honour O for Obstetrician but I decided to keep it light and focus on the most adorable baby outfit that everybody loves. The 'Onesies'.

source:crafthubs.com

Apparently 'Onesies' is a brand name for an infant baby suit by Gerber and is not a generic term like I thought it was. 

Intelligently designed (by a woman, I'm sure) with an opening near the crotch that makes dad's diapering duties easy. :)

Guaranteed to make your goochie-goo look adorable. And I  love how they come with funniest messages. 

What tickles me most is knowing that there are adult 'onesies'. Not just for costume parties but apparently as street fashion too! Here is a pic of my favourite TV show host Ellen and Ryan Gosling showing off their one-pieces.

Pinterest

#AtoZChallenge- N is for 'Naming the Baby'

Of course you want THE perfect name for your perfect creation. But what will it be?

• Should you just pick something from the 'most popular names' list? Easy-peasy!

• Or should you stick to 'good' names from the holy books or of saints? First impressions matter, you know.

• Sometimes, it is tradition to keep dad's name. Kings did it.

• Or you could get creative. Combine mom and dad's name to get the most unique name. My friend is named Lijo because his Mom is a Leela and his dad is a Joseph!

credits

• Planning for more kids. Choose something that can rhyme. Seena, Meena, Reena and Leena?

• Borrow from famous people. 'Newton, come finish your apples!'

• Create your own random name. I'm sure it has a meaning in Gaul or Celtic or any of the other 6000 odd languages out there.

• Or be matter of fact. I knew two sisters named Prima and Seconda. Obviously. And a Physics professor who had three children called - Alpha, Beta, Gamma.

Still Confused about picking a name? Don't worry, 'There's an app for that'. Yup apparently there are many apps out there that help choosing that name easier. Kick to pick lets the 'baby bump' choose its own name with a kick.

#AtoZChallenge- M is for 'Mischief'

If you have kids, and the house is very quiet, you can be sure they are up to something.
 
But because they are cute -by default, one is not sure whether to yell, laugh or click a pic.

Here are a few mischief stories I have had the pleasure (and displeasure) of witnessing. .. :)

•  My little girl tattoos her face with black felt pen, half an hour before a party. Brilliant idea for a last minute touch up.

• My son discovers how to open the baby powder tin and covers himself and the bed in it. I laughed, clicked and then yelled. 

• He opens the ball point pen refill from both ends. That took a few days to come off.

• My daughter decides she will cook like mummy (a.k.a pour water from one cup to another repeatedly). Only the bed turns out to be the right height for a woman of her stature... so oops.

• My son scoops our little fish out of the aquarium and after a thorough examination decided it did not look too happy. His first catch and release.

• And yes when he decided that he could make his own winter wonderland in the living room. With thermocol. And BTW, have you even tried sweeping this clean? Its like sitting inside a 'just shaken' snow globe.

• And how can I forget when he decided that the boring beige sofa could use some colour. Red and blue crayons would be perfect. I cried. And then used soap.

PS: A little mischief from my side- The content of this post are taken from a post I published a few months back on this blog. Hope you'll forgive me. 

#AtoZChallenge -L is for 'Labour'

This is it.  

The climax.

Time to meet a REAL baby. Not an ultra sound scan printout. Not a 3D video. But a real one that moves, makes sounds and will eventually drive you up the wall.

Life as you know it, is officially over, ladies.

Whether it took you took 60 minutes or 20 hours..
Whether you did it all by yourself or the doctor gave you a hand..
Whether you did it in a pool or on the hospital bed..
Whether you perfected your Lamaze or you were tripping on epidural..
Whether you did it in grace or pooped for everybody to see

It does not matter. You did it. You made the most beautiful thing in the world.

#AtoZChallenge - K is for 'Kicks'

Go ahead ask any woman. Nothing compares to a baby's kick inside the belly.

from babyq.com

I say it's the baby's first kiss. It's a 'Hello' from the inside.
 
Tender, soft and ticklish. Smiles guaranteed! And THE most amazing part of a pregnancy. 

Moms describe it as- soft fluttering butterflies, light fizzy bubbles and sometimes even like popping pop-corn.

This is the moment of wonder. Of realizing that there is a little living thing inside of you. Awesome right?

But then they grow so big and there is no more room to move about. Then the awesomeness kind of comes down a notch. 

There will be bladder squishing, rib kicking and all night partying! I know someone who had a rib fractured with her baby's kick!

Do you remember your baby's first kiss? I mean- kick?

#AtoZChallenge- J for 'Just Joking!'

Pregnant? Then the joke's on you! 

How many days are there in a month?
- Each month has an average of 30-31 days, except the last month of pregnancy, which has 1453. 

What hurts even more then childbirth?
- Having to sing “Wheels on the Bus” 400,000 times a day. 

How is being pregnant is like being a child again?
- There’s always someone telling you what to do.

Should I have a baby after 35?
- No, 35 children are quite enough.

I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
-With any luck, right after he finishes high school.

How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
-If it’s the flu, you’ll get better.

Do I have to have a baby shower?
-Not if you change the baby’s diaper very quickly.

What is colic?
-A reminder for new parents to use birth control.

What are night terrors?
-Frightening episodes in which the new mother dreams she’s pregnant again.

Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
-When the kids are in college.




Sources:
http://www.peek-a-boo-pregnancy.com/funny-pregnancy-jokes.html
https://www.corcell.com/blog/top-25-list-of-best-pregnancy-jokes-ever/

#AtoZChallenge- I is for 'Immunizations'

If you want to see a grown man cry, ask him to take his baby for his first shots.

Yes, ask him to carry a gurgling baby into a pediatrician's colorful office and to hold that baby down while the nurse gets the job done.

Even the bravest will cringe when those twinkling eyes widen in shock; acknowledging the prick of the needle,  when that soft little face turns red and when those tiny red lips curl in pure sadness before opening as wide as it possibly can to let out the loudest, most painful cry. 

Source: Clipart.co

I sometimes wonder how the nurse does it. All eyes are on her as she composes herself in the midst of this gruesome yet honorable act.

But you know what? I think this stage- when they cannot move on their own- is definitely the easiest. By the time they are 2 years old, they start forming good and bad memories  and the ruckus starts the moment you reach the hospital itself! 

And thank God for candy and lollipops and all the other unhealthy things that magically seem to blur some of those bad memories. 

#AtoZChallenge - H is for 'Hormones'

You really need to be careful around a pregnant woman. One minute she is ROFLing. The next second she might be flooding the place with her tears. In a few minutes she may be pretending you don't exist and then the very next moment she will be swearing at you for not existing enough.

Yup, its the hormones.

The chemicals in our body. To think that in spite of all that emotional intelligence and creative thinking we humans are actually nothing but science.

Source Pinterest

And when you're pregnant, there will be a whole lot more of chemicals that come in to prepare you to become this bearer of life.

And.... chemicals have side effects. 

Including and not limited to : nausea, heartburn, dizziness, gas, weepiness, glowing skin, OTT humour, hair-growth spurt, pigmentation, irritability, anxiety, sudden bursts of joy, tantrums, clumsiness etc.

#AtoZChallenge - G is for 'Google'

Have you met your PPA?

Your 'Personal Pregnancy Assistant'. 

Her name is Google. Yes, your very own personal guide and confidante committed to being with you from the time you decide you want to get pregnant until 'forever'!

Come to think of it.  

Who do you go to first when you are in doubt? 

Google.

Who do you go to first when you need to find something? Anything? 

Google.

Who do you go to even before you call your doctor in case of an emergency?

Google.

And after your doctor prescribes something, Who do you go to, to double check?

Of course. Google.

And almost every time, she knows exactly what you want to ask and is prompt enough to complete your questions (no, its not rude) saving you precious time and energy.

Made and designed for a pregnant woman. Someone to trust, some to listen to your silliest fears and doubts. Someone who is there no matter the time or place or how shabby you look in your jammies. Always patient. Never judging. 

Her resourcefulness will impress you much and you will find yourself spending a lot of time in her company. 

Don't believe me? OK here is a test to prove it. Go to the Google search box and start typing the question 'How to get'. 

You will find that the first auto-suggested query is 'How to get pregnant?' 

She just knows.

Here is a grainy pic. Forgive my photography skills please.
 

I took this!

#AtoZChallenge- F is for 'Free Advice'

 

babybunintheoven.com

Getting a seat on public transport or being allowed to jump a queue because you are pregnant is great. But have you had  fellow commuters/bystanders ask you when you are due? And then calculate which trimester you're in and ask which doctor you are seeing and then hint that there are better doctors in that other hospital. Then proceed to size up your belly and give it marks- too big, too small, elongated or wide. Looks like a boy but could be a girl. And then notice you are sipping some sugary drink and remind you that you shouldn't be. And then start describing their whole pregnancy story, even if you did not ask. 

Sigh...


But you know what, the more I think about it now, after having gone through this twice, I feel that it is only because  this whole pregnancy, birthing and post delivery process is a really big deal. Like earth 'shatteringly' big. Everything about us and our bodies and our lives take a turn. And maybe others who have gone through it just want to connect with us and feel obliged to make our passage through it easier. 

And many times even we want all the advice we can get. We want more than we can read online. We want to talk to real people who have been there and done that. 

So my free advice to you is to take all that free advice you get with a pinch of salt. Smile, nod and then check with your doctor. And relax! We women are designed to do this. We rock!

#AtoZChallenge- E is for 'Eating for two'

Source: Pinterest

I never really understood the confusion around this 'Eating for two' thing. Is it a fact? Is it a myth?

If you ask me, I think it is just a perfect little phrase that's perfectly timed. 

How else is a pregnant woman supposed to justify that humongous hunger pang she feels every so often? Because trust me, no one (who has not had a bun in the oven) can ever comprehend this pregnancy induced physical/emotional/mental state.

You just need that Extra Large Fries, right now. Who cares if its 2 AM?  

It is so easy for experts and doctors to tell a pregnant woman that all she needs is few hundred more calories per day. And that her growing belly is actually a baby and not more room in her stomach to process ALL that extra food she wants to eat.

In my last trimester , I craved for chocolates and found myself heading to the refrigerator each time I woke up to go to the bathroom. And that was like at least 10 times every night. Well... apparently the baby did not need all that extra chocolate and I really stretched out. :(

So please, listen to your doctor but once in a while, definitely 'Eat for two'!

#AtoZChallenge- D is for 'Diapers'

Poop.

I know. Its gross. Its smelly. But wouldn't we all have it come out than not at all? 

Having a baby is like making a commitment to getting- up, close and personal with poop. Not only will you deal with it first hand, you will take great interest in the technicalities. Colour, texture, quantity- everything tells you a story.
 

findicons.com

Thank God for diapers! Or rather thank Marion Donovan! 

Apparently she was tired of washing soiled linen day in and day out that she sat down with her sewing machine and shower curtain and made a plastic underwear (called boater). And later she also developed the first waterproof disposable diaper. 

But don't you just hate it when such a fabulous invention  that makes life easy for us ironically destroys mother nature. Diaper waste happens to be the 3rd largest consumer item in landfills accounting for 30% of the world's waste. And its not biodegradable. It is so easy not to think about it, we just roll it up and stuff into the cute 'Diaper Genie' that magically eliminates smell and sight of this little waste. Out of sight, out of mind.

Of course there are options:

• You could use cloth and wash it yourself. 
• You could use cloth and get someone else to wash it for you. (I read that some countries have diaper service) Personally I think its a really humanitarian service)
• You could design a bio-degradable one. (Will you please?)    

Ok now that you are feeling guilty about killing the environment, let me ask you this -Do you have any clue how many diapers your baby's cute little bum is going to be sitting on?

If 'mom' mathematicians are correct, your child will need more than 3000 diapers in the first year alone. And the Internet points out that on an average a diaper will cost you Rs. 10. And most often children are not potty trained for at least 3 years. Now you can do the math.